ADULT EDUCATION, CONVERSATION, MOTIVATION, CONSULTATION & RECREATION: Miss Valerie Moon is Worth your Weight in Gold! JOIN StormPay   and for All the Days to Come... HOME In These  MORON TIMES He who hesitates is lost, for She who educates has been found. Does any of this [God forbid] seem familiar? "Where you at?" "You done good!" "I seen her." "I left him go." "U R KEWL!"   Do you say "ath-a-lete" rather than "ath-lete," "real-a-tor" rather than "real-tor," and "nook-you-luhr" rather than "nu-cle-ar" [or the supremely grating "vee-hickle" as opposed to "ve-(h)icle"]?  Can you dress yourself each day without a calculator? Should your speech and/or writing [ergo, your mind] be littered with garbage [online or off, personally or professionally], stop kidding yourself. Though perhaps too polite to call attention to your affliction, the subconscious and conscious minds of the unafflicted will have you pegged as one who should always use the servants' entrance. Unimproved and obviously unmotivated, sans lottery winnings, a trust fund, or a blood-relative on the Board of Directors, [a great big penis notwithstanding] you will never get The Girl, and only an Act of God will allow you to rise above your cubicle, station, or junior partnership. Think Miss Valerie Moon is "a Bitch" for ripping the rose-coloured glasses from your myopic eyes? No, Miss Valerie Moon is kind and compassionate enough to let you know you're an idiot, smart enough to "wise you up," strong enough to see that you develop the discipline necessary to improve your lot in life...and "a Bitch" only when you insist upon remaining too fucking stoopid to live. PRACTICE GOOD MENTAL HYGIENE and stop stinkin' up the joint! Research confirms that one-on-one instruction tailored toward the individual student results in greater and more permanent advances for the individual student. A basic understanding of biology confirms that males are capable of intense and prolonged concentration only upon such things as make their dicks stand at attention. WELCOME TO MISS VALERIE'S RESCUE & REHABILITATION! Your only hope is a very strict teacher, with a very big lesson plan, offering very private tutoring. Click paragraphs, below, for more unpleasant truths. CLICK HERE, however, when you are ready to become a better thinker, a better writer, and a better human being. English As a First Language [EFL] & English As a Second Language [ESL] classes are always in session, as well as in vogue, and are conducted, internationally, through skype [http://skype.com], email, and IM. "Critical thinking" is the order of every day. Dedicated, attentive, and industrious students tithe $100 per 55min. EFL/ESL session. Lazy parasites who waste My time, and who attempt to blame personal shortcomings on faux "diseases" [such as the now ubiquitous bollocks known as "ADD"] tithe $200 per 55min. EFL/ESL session. All others may call the toll-free number provided for utterly irredeemable stooges, and pay $2.99 per minute to lick the soles of My shoes, the only activity for which utterly irredeemable stooges seem naturally suited. That, too, will prove most enlightening, I assure you. WARNING! Whatever the program [remedial, advanced, or stooge], trying to top from the bottom will cost one a limb...   Firms need workers who not only read, write, speak, and understand English, but who also have mathematics, problem solving, and interpersonal skills, which form the foundation for almost all productive work as well as all productivity improvement efforts.   A third of employees in blue-chip companies write poorly, and businesses spend $3.1 billion annually on remedial training. Millions of inscrutable e-mails clog corporate computers by setting off requests for clarification, and many of the requests, in turn, are also chaotically written, resulting in cycles of confusion. "E-mail has just erupted like a weed, and instead of considering what they write, people just let thoughts drool onto the screen. It has companies at their wits' end."   The average manufacturer rejects five of six applicants for basic skills deficiencies. The Upjohn Institute estimates that 25 to 40 percent of U.S. workers lack the reading skills to understand the bulk of written material related to their jobs. Such workers cause their companies to lose profits through low productivity, workplace accidents, poor product quality, and lost supervisory time.   A new reality about the global economy is sinking into the American consciousness. Rewards for having the right skills can be spectacular, consequences for not having them are devastating. One of the most striking characteristics of less well-educated populations is their lack of information.   More than half a million Florida students sat in classrooms in front of teachers who failed basic skills tests for teachers. Many students got teachers who struggled to solve high school math problems, or whose English skills were so poor they flunked reading tests designed to measure the very same skills students must master before they can graduate.   What the projections reveal is a passing of the workplace torch unlike any other in U.S. history. Up to this point, each generation to enter the workforce has been larger and better-educated than its predecessor. This time, however, neither will be true. A survey of 110 mayors in 37 states revealed that a lack of skilled workers is jeopardizing efforts to attract businesses -- and even keep the ones they have.   "40 per cent of college grads take no courses in English or American literature and 31 per cent have never taken a math course. More than 56 per cent can't calculate the change from $3 after buying a bowl of soup for 60 cents and a sandwich for $1.95. Many cannot read and understand a simple set of directions." The article referenced "Beer and Circus", a book by English professor Murray Sperber of Indiana University. "College kids are being fed a junk diet of alcohol, spectator sports and partying."   Using the Prose test, some 40+ million U. S. adults were placed in Level 1 and 50+ million in Level 2. These lower levels include almost half of the adults in the U. S. Interestingly, most of these adults describe themselves as being able to read or write English "well" or "very well." It paints a picture of a society in which the vast majority of Americans do not know that they do not have the skills they need to earn a living in our increasingly technological society and international marketplace.   A highly educated workforce does not exist in America -- it exists in China, India, Japan, Germany, and anywhere else outside of America. I cannot help but feel sorry for American workers, because it is their fault and on their own conscience that they are not more educated and more competitive than what us CEOs and Corporate America wants them to be.   An estimated 8 percent to 20 percent of the labor force is functionally illiterate. And an aging corps of Baby Boomers badly needs to update its knowledge and skills. So America's workers are going back to school. But they aren't just headed for seminars held in climate-controlled corporate classrooms. Today, the education and training of much of the modern labor force is as sophisticated, lively and diverse as the state-of-the-art American workplace.   The non-partisan think tank MassINC reports that over one-third of Massachusetts' workers are deficient in the basic skills required to succeed in the new economy. LEARN OFTEN.  LEARN WELL.   Americans can expect to change jobs a half-dozen times in their lives - a feat requiring considerable mental agility. The ability to sift, analyze, and reflect upon large amounts of data is crucial in today's information age. Outsiders who find college graduates unprepared for solving problems in the workplace question whether colleges are successfully educating student to think.   A professor assigned a two-page essay that described a favorite vacation or holiday. One student turned in two pictures drawn with crayon. When given a failing grade, she was indignant and said that she put a great deal of work into the pictures. When told that she did not do the assignment and that she was supposed to write an essay, she said, 'But I don't know what an essay is!'"   The Bureau of Labor Statistics has quantified the ever-increasing reading, mathematics, and reasoning skills required during the next ten to fifteen years. When the Baby Boomers start to leave the workforce in droves, more will be expected of those workers who enter and remain in the labor force. In a country full of workers who are unemployable or capable of working only on the lower rungs of the skill and wage ladder, economic growth will slow to a crawl.   Each generation of Americans outstripped its parents in education, literacy, and economic attainment. For the first time in history, the skills of one generation will not surpass, will not equal, will not even approach those of their parents. If a foreign power attempted to impose the mediocre educational performance that exists today, we might well have viewed it as an act of war. As it stands, we have allowed this to happen to ourselves.   Several factors attest to a growing concern about the occupational literacy levels of workers. These factors include the deficient academic levels of those entering the work force, the changing nature of work in our society, and economic problems resulting from workers' inability to meet the basic skill requirements of the job. Is job performance related to basic literacy? 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